Use ‘colourful language’ like Jesus to save Christianity, urges Vicar

LONDON - If Christianity is going to be taken seriously, it needs to ‘modernize’ and start using the ‘f word’ and other swear words more frequently, says a Vicar.

Reverend Michael Land claims that everyone should follow Jesus - who he claims did not have the politest of the languages.

“The reality is that he was poor, lacked any real education and did not fraternise with Pharisees or scholars. People today would probably be quite shocked at the language he used,” The Daily Mail quoted Land as saying.

“The church needs to modernise and that means keeping up with the trends in language. People view Jesus through tinted spectacles and place him on a pedestal,” he added.

Now, he has told his flock in the Herefordshire village of Burghill to go forth and start swearing like troopers.

Land admitted that he had lost his cool once and swore at someone too.

“Someone pulled out in front of me so I sounded my horn. The driver got out of his car and came over to me. I wound my window down and said ‘why don’t you learn to ****ing drive’,” he said.

“I would feel uncomfortable if he started effing during his sermons,” remarked an 80-year-old lady at the church where Land preaches.

But not all are against this new radical theory.

“For too long the Church has carried around this image of being something fluffy and quaint when in reality it is gritty and real and swearing is part of that,” said Mark Paul, another churchgoer.

The vicar also has a less than traditionally Christian view about doorstep begging, and said he didn’t turn away from shutting the door in people’s faces when they arrived at his door. (ANI)