Mums lie to make themselves ‘feel better or look better to others’

MELBOURNE - A survey has revealed that mothers lie to each other to appear in control to others, or to feel more capable.

A survey of mothers and parenting experts has found mums lie when they’re anxious to appear in control to others, or to feel more capable, rather than to make others look bad.

Realmums website founder Amanda Cox said mums lied to “make themselves feel better or look better to others”- particularly about sleeping, milestones and eating.

“Motherhood can be a bit competitive sometimes. Of course the big one is ’sleeping through’, which for me is 8pm to 8am but for others is 1am to 4am,” the Herald Sun quoted her as saying.

Pinky McKay, a baby care author and lactation consultant, said mothers often “don’t have the energy to defend what they do and lack confidence, so they lie to others”.

“Some women feel that everyone else is so together when they feel like they’re falling apart, so they don’t want to let on,” she said.

Jodi Benveniste, creator of the parentwellbeing.com.au website, said mums “tell versions of the truth - not the whole truth. It is about saving face and appearing to be doing better than we feel we are as parents.

Parenting website Bub Hub co-founder Brad Lauder said that many mums told white lies to support and reassure other mums.

Amanda Cooklin, research fellow at the Parenting Research Centre, said it was important to find ways to support parents better, particularly those who are chronically sleep-deprived.

The research would be presented at the Queen Elizabeth Centre conference next week. (ANI)