Selected responses from ‘Little Billy’s Letters’

‘Little Billy’s Letters’ at a glance

Excerpts from the responses by prominent figures to letters from “Little Billy,” the grade-school alter ego of prankster Bill Geerhart, appearing in the book “Little Billy’s Letters”:

Serial killer Richard Ramirez, the “Night Stalker” convicted of 13 murders, asking whether Billy should drop out of school:

“You should stay in school. Send pictures.” (In a follow-up correspondence nine years later, Ramirez grows more specific: “Send some of girls in bikinis.”)

Attorney General Janet Reno, writing to settle the issue of whether Batman or the Terminator is the better crime fighter:

“I read Batman comics when I was your age so I know of his efforts to fight crime better than I know of the Terminator’s work.”

An aide to religious broadcaster Jim Bakker, responding to Billy’s suspicion that his dog, Tippy, might be possessed by a demon and need to be shot:

“Just read your letter to Rev. Bakker.

“In our pray time we were praying for you.

“We feel you should not shoot Tippy.

“We hope all is better and Tippy is back to normal.”

Former presidential candidate and Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis, on Billy’s run for third-grade class president:

“You may be on the verge of a great political career. The first office for which I ever ran and won was as president of my third grade class! You, too, may become a governor and run for the presidency!”

Buzz Potter of the National Hobo Association, responding to Billy’s desire for a possible life as a hobo: “The word hobo describes a person who is curious about all things in life, is self confident in his or her ability to lead a meaningful life, is fascinated with traveling and seeing new places and most of all shows respect for people. Hoboes believe in themselves and their future.”

Former Defense Secretary Robert S. McNamara, advising Billy on whether he should dig a moat around his treehouse to keep his enemies away:

“It will work if you dig it deep enough; and your enemies can’t swim!”

An aide to feminist Gloria Steinem, whom Billy asked, “If the Six Million Dollar Man hit the Bionic Woman in a fight would that be wrong?”

“The short answer to your question is yes. As Gloria explained to me, it would only be fair if it was done in self-defense.”